12 Areas of Balance
by Vishen Lakhiani
You'll probably use several sheets of paper as you watch this one. I find it very valuable and trust you will as well.
Blessings....
The Silva Method, Silva Life System and Silva Intuition Training - sharing these is a joy. It's so uplifting and rewarding to see people learn the skills and techniques, apply them in their lives and increase their fulfillment and happiness. I am privileged to work with Silva Graduates in a coaching relationship.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
The Emotional Vampire Survival Guide: Emotional Freedom in Action
The Emotional Vampire Survival Guide — Discover How To Deal With The 4 Types Of Vampires
by Editorial Team (FinerMinds) Published in: Energy
ShareEditor’s Note: This isn’t quite like Twilight. But have you ever met someone and felt as if you’re energy has been sucked out of you? You might’ve felt on top of the world one minute, and bam! Right after you meet this person, you’re feeling down and out. Chances are you just met an emotional vampire.
Dr. Judith Orloff below gives an interesting account of the 4 types of emotional vampires and what you can do to protect yourself from them. She uses a technique called Emotional Freedom. It’s an awesome read, so I recommend checking it out.
…
The Emotional Vampire Survival Guide: Emotional Freedom in Action
Adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff’s new book Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life
To be emotionally free you can’t remain naïve about relationships. Some people are positive and mood elevating. Others can suck optimism and serenity right out of you. Vampires do more than drain your physical energy.
The super-malignant ones can make you believe you’re an unworthy, unlovable wretch who doesn’t deserve better. The subtler species inflict damage by making smaller digs, which can make you feel bad about yourself—for instance, “Dear, I see you’ve put on a few pounds” or “You’re overly sensitive!”
Suddenly they’ve thrown you emotionally off-center you by prodding areas of shaky self-worth. To protect your sensitivity, it’s important to name and combat these vampires. The concept struck such a collective chord in my book Positive Energy that in Emotional Freedom, my latest book, I illustrate how it applies to protecting your emotions and not absorbing other people’s negativity.
SIGNS THAT YOU’VE ENCOUNTERD AN EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE
•Your eyelids are heavy—you’re ready for a nap
•Your mood takes a nosedive
•You want to binge on carbs or comfort foods
•You feel anxious, depressed, or negative
•You feel put down, sniped at, or slimedTYPES OF EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES
Vampire #1: The Narcissist
Their motto is “Me first.” Everything is all about them. They have a grandiose sense of self-importance and entitlement, hog attention, and crave admiration. They’re dangerous because they lack empathy and have a limited capacity for unconditional love. If you don’t do things their way, they become punishing, withholding, or cold.
How to Protect Your Emotions: Keep your expectations realistic. These are emotionally limited people. Try not to fall in love with one or expect them to be selfless or love without strings attached. Never make your self-worth dependent on them or confide your deepest feelings to someone who won’t cherish them. To successfully communicate, the hard truth is that you must show how something will be to their benefit. Though it’s better not to have to contend with this tedious ego stroking, if the relationship is unavoidable use the above strategies to achieved desired results.
Vampire #2: The Victim
These vampires grate on you with their “poor-me’ attitude and are allergic to taking responsibility for their actions. The world is always against them, the reason for their unhappiness. When you offer a solution to their problems they always say, “Yes, but.” You might end up screening your calls or purposely avoid them. As a friend, you may want to help but their tales of woe overwhelm you.
How to Protect Your Emotions: Set kind but firm limits. Listen briefly and tell a friend or relative, “I love you but I can only listen for a few minutes unless you want to discuss solutions. Then I’d be thrilled to brainstorm with you.” With a coworker, listen briefly, sympathize by saying, “I’ll keep good thought for things to work out. Then say, I hope you understand, but I’m on deadline and must go back to work. Then use “this isn’t a good time” body language such as crossing your arms and breaking eye contact to help set these healthy limits.
Vampire #3: The Controller
These people obsessively try to control you and dictate what you’re supposed to be and feel. They have an opinion about everything. They’ll control you by invalidating your emotions if they don’t fit into their rulebook. They often start sentences with “You know what you need?” and then proceed to tell you. You end up feeling dominated, demeaned, or put down.
How to Protect Your Emotions: The secret to success is never try and control a controller. Be healthily assertive, but don’t tell them what to do. You can say, “I value your advice but really need to work through this myself.” Be confident but don’t play the victim or sweat the small stuff. Focus on high priority issues rather than on putting the cap on the toothpaste.
Vampire #4: The Splitter or Borderline Personality
Splitters see things as either good or bad and have love/hate relationships. One minute they idealize you, the next you’re the enemy if you upset them. They have a sixth sense for knowing how to pit people against each another and will retaliate if they feel you have wronged them. They are people who are fundamentally damaged—inwardly they feel as if they don’t exist and become alive when they get angry. They’ll keep you on an emotional rollercoaster and you may walk on eggshells to avoid their anger.
How to Protect Your Emotions: Stay calm. Don’t react when your buttons get pushed. Splitters feed off of anger. They respond best to structure and limit setting. If one goes into a rage, tell the person, “I’m leaving until you get calmer. Then we can talk.” Refuse to take sides when he or she tries to turn you against someone else. With family members, it’s best to show a united front and not let a splitter’s venomous opinions poison your relationships.
…
This article is based on Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life, where Dr. Orloff synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition and energy medicine. As Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA, she passionately believes that the future of medicine involves integrating all this wisdom to achieve emotional freedom and total wellness.
by Editorial Team (FinerMinds) Published in: Energy
ShareEditor’s Note: This isn’t quite like Twilight. But have you ever met someone and felt as if you’re energy has been sucked out of you? You might’ve felt on top of the world one minute, and bam! Right after you meet this person, you’re feeling down and out. Chances are you just met an emotional vampire.
Dr. Judith Orloff below gives an interesting account of the 4 types of emotional vampires and what you can do to protect yourself from them. She uses a technique called Emotional Freedom. It’s an awesome read, so I recommend checking it out.
…
The Emotional Vampire Survival Guide: Emotional Freedom in Action
Adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff’s new book Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life
To be emotionally free you can’t remain naïve about relationships. Some people are positive and mood elevating. Others can suck optimism and serenity right out of you. Vampires do more than drain your physical energy.
The super-malignant ones can make you believe you’re an unworthy, unlovable wretch who doesn’t deserve better. The subtler species inflict damage by making smaller digs, which can make you feel bad about yourself—for instance, “Dear, I see you’ve put on a few pounds” or “You’re overly sensitive!”
Suddenly they’ve thrown you emotionally off-center you by prodding areas of shaky self-worth. To protect your sensitivity, it’s important to name and combat these vampires. The concept struck such a collective chord in my book Positive Energy that in Emotional Freedom, my latest book, I illustrate how it applies to protecting your emotions and not absorbing other people’s negativity.
SIGNS THAT YOU’VE ENCOUNTERD AN EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE
•Your eyelids are heavy—you’re ready for a nap
•Your mood takes a nosedive
•You want to binge on carbs or comfort foods
•You feel anxious, depressed, or negative
•You feel put down, sniped at, or slimedTYPES OF EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES
Vampire #1: The Narcissist
Their motto is “Me first.” Everything is all about them. They have a grandiose sense of self-importance and entitlement, hog attention, and crave admiration. They’re dangerous because they lack empathy and have a limited capacity for unconditional love. If you don’t do things their way, they become punishing, withholding, or cold.
How to Protect Your Emotions: Keep your expectations realistic. These are emotionally limited people. Try not to fall in love with one or expect them to be selfless or love without strings attached. Never make your self-worth dependent on them or confide your deepest feelings to someone who won’t cherish them. To successfully communicate, the hard truth is that you must show how something will be to their benefit. Though it’s better not to have to contend with this tedious ego stroking, if the relationship is unavoidable use the above strategies to achieved desired results.
Vampire #2: The Victim
These vampires grate on you with their “poor-me’ attitude and are allergic to taking responsibility for their actions. The world is always against them, the reason for their unhappiness. When you offer a solution to their problems they always say, “Yes, but.” You might end up screening your calls or purposely avoid them. As a friend, you may want to help but their tales of woe overwhelm you.
How to Protect Your Emotions: Set kind but firm limits. Listen briefly and tell a friend or relative, “I love you but I can only listen for a few minutes unless you want to discuss solutions. Then I’d be thrilled to brainstorm with you.” With a coworker, listen briefly, sympathize by saying, “I’ll keep good thought for things to work out. Then say, I hope you understand, but I’m on deadline and must go back to work. Then use “this isn’t a good time” body language such as crossing your arms and breaking eye contact to help set these healthy limits.
Vampire #3: The Controller
These people obsessively try to control you and dictate what you’re supposed to be and feel. They have an opinion about everything. They’ll control you by invalidating your emotions if they don’t fit into their rulebook. They often start sentences with “You know what you need?” and then proceed to tell you. You end up feeling dominated, demeaned, or put down.
How to Protect Your Emotions: The secret to success is never try and control a controller. Be healthily assertive, but don’t tell them what to do. You can say, “I value your advice but really need to work through this myself.” Be confident but don’t play the victim or sweat the small stuff. Focus on high priority issues rather than on putting the cap on the toothpaste.
Vampire #4: The Splitter or Borderline Personality
Splitters see things as either good or bad and have love/hate relationships. One minute they idealize you, the next you’re the enemy if you upset them. They have a sixth sense for knowing how to pit people against each another and will retaliate if they feel you have wronged them. They are people who are fundamentally damaged—inwardly they feel as if they don’t exist and become alive when they get angry. They’ll keep you on an emotional rollercoaster and you may walk on eggshells to avoid their anger.
How to Protect Your Emotions: Stay calm. Don’t react when your buttons get pushed. Splitters feed off of anger. They respond best to structure and limit setting. If one goes into a rage, tell the person, “I’m leaving until you get calmer. Then we can talk.” Refuse to take sides when he or she tries to turn you against someone else. With family members, it’s best to show a united front and not let a splitter’s venomous opinions poison your relationships.
…
This article is based on Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life, where Dr. Orloff synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition and energy medicine. As Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA, she passionately believes that the future of medicine involves integrating all this wisdom to achieve emotional freedom and total wellness.
Is The Right Side Of Your Brain Taking Over?
The New Era Of Creativity
by Editorial Team (MindValley)
Published in: Creativity
Editor’s note: Do you consider yourself a creative person? Have your found being creative a help or a hassle in your personal, professional or financial life? Check out what author Laura Silva has to say about the positive future for creatives.
Are The Right Brains Taking Over? The New Era Of Creativity
Peek into any history book and you can see the progression of society. From the stone age to the agriculture age, then with the invention of machines came the industrial revolution. As recently as the early 90’s with the birth of the internet, we entered the stage we have come to know now — the information age.
But some are saying that a new era is dawning upon us. In Daniel Pink’s book “A Whole New Mind — Why Right Brainers Will Rule The Future” — Pink suggests we are moving into a Conceptual Age — characterized by creators and empathizers. According to him “Artists, inventors, designers, storytellers, caregivers, counselors, big-picture thinkers – will now reap society’s richest rewards and share its greatest joys.”
The Conceptual Age
Pink goes on to state that, like in the industrial revolution whern many human jobs were replaced by machines, these days any job that requires logical, analytical left brain thinking is now being replaced by a computer program. Many new professions are changing to right brain professions — and if you’re not creative it could be harder for you keep a job in this new era. The new job market no longer belongs to knowledge workers, but the creative — those who can take the abundance of information and knowledge and create something with intrinsic value. As he puts it
“A funny thing happened while we were pressing our noses to the grindstone: The world changed. The future no longer belongs to people who can reason with computer-like logic, speed, and precision. It belongs to a different kind of person with a different kind of mind. Today — amid the uncertainties of an economy that has gone from boom to bust to blah — there’s a metaphor that explains what’s going on. And it’s right inside our heads.”
Not only “right inside our heads”, but the right hemisphere of our brain — the side responsible for creativity.
For more on the conceptual age, check out Dan’s great article “Revenge Of The Right Brain”.
The Value Of Creativity In The Workplace
This can be exemplified if you take a peak at FastCompany’s top 100 creative people in business in 2010. The top 10 not surprisingly contains a international pop star, film maker and TV producer — but the other 7? Shockingly the top ten rounds out with a Harvard law professor, the CEO of Safeway and top executives from Apple, Nike, Microsoft and Nissan. Proving that the perceived value of creativity has spread to sectors not previously thought of as “creative”.
Improved creativity is not only limited to the job spectrum. Expressing your creativity leads to a more energetic and greater quality of life. This is because when we create things and make things we are expressing ourselves in our truest form.
Creativity Adds Value To Your Life
You can improve your relationships with loved ones through a little creative thinking. Ever find yourself in a rut? Or maybe going through the same arguments over and over again? Simply by flexing your creative muscles you can approach old problems with a fresh outlook. Maybe even surprise your loved ones with a unique surprise that expresses your true feelings and appreciation for them? You can also attract new, exciting people into your life through a little creative efforts.
The definition of creativity is “whereby something new is created that has some kind of value.” The truth is the more creativity you deploy, the more things you CREATE and the more you HAVE! You can create more love, happiness, joy, health or time in your life.
Discovering Your True Self
When you express yourself you journey down the path of self discovery and authenticity. When we create something, we take it from the essence of what we truly believe, feel and think. Creativity is also a spiritual expression, so naturally people who often express themselves creatively feel more self-confident and connected to a higher source.
So maybe creativity isn’t just for art class anymore?
by Editorial Team (MindValley)
Published in: Creativity
Editor’s note: Do you consider yourself a creative person? Have your found being creative a help or a hassle in your personal, professional or financial life? Check out what author Laura Silva has to say about the positive future for creatives.
Are The Right Brains Taking Over? The New Era Of Creativity
Peek into any history book and you can see the progression of society. From the stone age to the agriculture age, then with the invention of machines came the industrial revolution. As recently as the early 90’s with the birth of the internet, we entered the stage we have come to know now — the information age.
But some are saying that a new era is dawning upon us. In Daniel Pink’s book “A Whole New Mind — Why Right Brainers Will Rule The Future” — Pink suggests we are moving into a Conceptual Age — characterized by creators and empathizers. According to him “Artists, inventors, designers, storytellers, caregivers, counselors, big-picture thinkers – will now reap society’s richest rewards and share its greatest joys.”
The Conceptual Age
Pink goes on to state that, like in the industrial revolution whern many human jobs were replaced by machines, these days any job that requires logical, analytical left brain thinking is now being replaced by a computer program. Many new professions are changing to right brain professions — and if you’re not creative it could be harder for you keep a job in this new era. The new job market no longer belongs to knowledge workers, but the creative — those who can take the abundance of information and knowledge and create something with intrinsic value. As he puts it
“A funny thing happened while we were pressing our noses to the grindstone: The world changed. The future no longer belongs to people who can reason with computer-like logic, speed, and precision. It belongs to a different kind of person with a different kind of mind. Today — amid the uncertainties of an economy that has gone from boom to bust to blah — there’s a metaphor that explains what’s going on. And it’s right inside our heads.”
Not only “right inside our heads”, but the right hemisphere of our brain — the side responsible for creativity.
For more on the conceptual age, check out Dan’s great article “Revenge Of The Right Brain”.
The Value Of Creativity In The Workplace
This can be exemplified if you take a peak at FastCompany’s top 100 creative people in business in 2010. The top 10 not surprisingly contains a international pop star, film maker and TV producer — but the other 7? Shockingly the top ten rounds out with a Harvard law professor, the CEO of Safeway and top executives from Apple, Nike, Microsoft and Nissan. Proving that the perceived value of creativity has spread to sectors not previously thought of as “creative”.
Improved creativity is not only limited to the job spectrum. Expressing your creativity leads to a more energetic and greater quality of life. This is because when we create things and make things we are expressing ourselves in our truest form.
Creativity Adds Value To Your Life
You can improve your relationships with loved ones through a little creative thinking. Ever find yourself in a rut? Or maybe going through the same arguments over and over again? Simply by flexing your creative muscles you can approach old problems with a fresh outlook. Maybe even surprise your loved ones with a unique surprise that expresses your true feelings and appreciation for them? You can also attract new, exciting people into your life through a little creative efforts.
The definition of creativity is “whereby something new is created that has some kind of value.” The truth is the more creativity you deploy, the more things you CREATE and the more you HAVE! You can create more love, happiness, joy, health or time in your life.
Discovering Your True Self
When you express yourself you journey down the path of self discovery and authenticity. When we create something, we take it from the essence of what we truly believe, feel and think. Creativity is also a spiritual expression, so naturally people who often express themselves creatively feel more self-confident and connected to a higher source.
So maybe creativity isn’t just for art class anymore?
Friday, October 1, 2010
Left Brain, Right Brain or Switch Hitter? Take The Test
by Laura Silva in Enhancing Creativity
Ever wondered if you right brained or left brained? If you want to know, just take the test below.
TakeTheTest
Just look at the spinning girl, if she is spinning clockwise, you are more partial to right brain functioning. Whereas if she is spinning counterclockwise, your a left brain operator.
Left Brain Characteristics
Left brained people are characterized by sequential, logical and analytical. They can easily see the path from a to b. Left brainers also communicate directly, via speech or writing and respond very well to verbal directions. They also can focus very easily and pay attention to details.
As learners, left brains tend to understand through lectures, discussion and rationalization. Typcial left brain professions are accountants, lawyers and careers in the area of science.
Right Brain Characteristics
Right brained people are very creative and intuitive. They spend alot of time imagining and dreaming, which helps them create many ideas. Right brainers tend to follow their intuition and be very spontaneous.
People strong in right brain activity tend to shine in careers as artists, entrepreneurs, craftsmen and sales. Right brained people tend to understand new information by stories, diagrams, allegories and metaphors. When communicating, right brained people tend to communicate indirectly by gestures, voice tone. As in its not what they say, but HOW they say it.
Switch Hitters
While there is a good chance you already knew which way you tend to lean, creative or analytical. But here's the real question - can you change the way you see the girl spin? On command?
In baseball, some of the most valuable players are "Switch Hitters", as in they can hit the ball with their right hand or left hand, depending on the pitcher or where they need to hit the ball.
If you are one of the lucky few who knows how to control which hemisphere of the brain to use for specific tasks, consider yourself a switch hitter. People with this skill know that when they need to focus and rationalize, they need to operate from their left brain space, then can switch into a creative state of mind when needed.
The truth is, we all tend to lean towards one dominate side, but we CAN train ourselves to be switch hitters. For more on how to develop creativity check out this Finer Minds blog post.
So I'm just wondering about our Silva community:
Are you left dominated or right? Did the results of the test above surprise you?
Can you 'switch hit'?
Ever wondered if you right brained or left brained? If you want to know, just take the test below.
TakeTheTest
Just look at the spinning girl, if she is spinning clockwise, you are more partial to right brain functioning. Whereas if she is spinning counterclockwise, your a left brain operator.
Left Brain Characteristics
Left brained people are characterized by sequential, logical and analytical. They can easily see the path from a to b. Left brainers also communicate directly, via speech or writing and respond very well to verbal directions. They also can focus very easily and pay attention to details.
As learners, left brains tend to understand through lectures, discussion and rationalization. Typcial left brain professions are accountants, lawyers and careers in the area of science.
Right Brain Characteristics
Right brained people are very creative and intuitive. They spend alot of time imagining and dreaming, which helps them create many ideas. Right brainers tend to follow their intuition and be very spontaneous.
People strong in right brain activity tend to shine in careers as artists, entrepreneurs, craftsmen and sales. Right brained people tend to understand new information by stories, diagrams, allegories and metaphors. When communicating, right brained people tend to communicate indirectly by gestures, voice tone. As in its not what they say, but HOW they say it.
Switch Hitters
While there is a good chance you already knew which way you tend to lean, creative or analytical. But here's the real question - can you change the way you see the girl spin? On command?
In baseball, some of the most valuable players are "Switch Hitters", as in they can hit the ball with their right hand or left hand, depending on the pitcher or where they need to hit the ball.
If you are one of the lucky few who knows how to control which hemisphere of the brain to use for specific tasks, consider yourself a switch hitter. People with this skill know that when they need to focus and rationalize, they need to operate from their left brain space, then can switch into a creative state of mind when needed.
The truth is, we all tend to lean towards one dominate side, but we CAN train ourselves to be switch hitters. For more on how to develop creativity check out this Finer Minds blog post.
So I'm just wondering about our Silva community:
Are you left dominated or right? Did the results of the test above surprise you?
Can you 'switch hit'?
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