by FinerMinds Team February 7, 2011
Have you ever tried to use your dreams for personal insight? There’s plenty of ‘cook book’ information out there on the symbolism in your dreams (if you see a dog it means this; if you talk to a doctor it means that …). Some of these books, like horoscopes, are pretty superficial. Others can be deeply insightful.
Carl Jung, the famed psychoanalyst and student of Freud went beyond Oedipus and right into archetypes of the psyche. He suggested that your dreams - and each element in them – respresent different parts of your self. Jung believed our dreams are rich with meaning that can deepen self-knowledge. That is if you take the time to understand what they want to tell you.
But here’s the thing, you have to remember your dreams if you want to ‘work’ with them for deeper insight into your life. So if this idea interests you, here’s two things you need to do in order to improve your dream recall AND get more meaning and insight from what you remember.
Intend to Remember
First things first: you have to build your recall muscle. The more you practice this, the better you’ll get at remembering even what might seem like insignificant details. So before you go to sleep each night, repeat a simple, clear phrase over and over again. Here’s a few samples:
■I wake and remember my dreams
■My dreams remain clear when I wake
■I have total dream recall
■Tomorrow I’ll remember all my dreams
Dream Journal
If you’ve even tip-toed around the subject before, you probably already know that keeping a dream journal is the single most important habit for effectively recalling your dreams. But a dream journal serves a much greater purpose. Using a journal helps you actually dialogue with your sleep-time adventures, to gain insight for your waking life. Here’s how you do it:
1.Keep a dedicated dream journal right next to your bed.
2.As soon as you wake, write down everything you remember. (This will increase the more you do it).
3.Make a short list of the elements in the dream that stand out most to you. This could be because they trigger the strongest feelings or because they were so clear or because they were important to the ‘plot’ of your dream.
4.Begin a dialogue with these elements – one at a time. Let’s say a chair figured prominently in one of your dreams. You can open the ‘conversation’ by writing: “Chair, why were you in my dream and what do you have to tell me?”
5.Listen with every part of your being. Have you ever heard a strange noise in your house and stopped everything you were doing just to figure out what it was? In these moments, it’s as if every cell in your body is listening. Well, you want to ‘listen’ for the answer just like that.
6.Write down what you hear or see, or any impressions that come.
7.Keep the dialogue going until the story and meaning unfolds.
Have you ever ‘worked’ with your dreams? What did you do to remember than and get helpful insights for your waking life? eave a comment and tell us more.
The Silva Method, Silva Life System and Silva Intuition Training - sharing these is a joy. It's so uplifting and rewarding to see people learn the skills and techniques, apply them in their lives and increase their fulfillment and happiness. I am privileged to work with Silva Graduates in a coaching relationship.
Monday, February 11, 2019
Red Alert! – Chakra Meditation For Clarity And Balance
by FinerMinds Team January 16, 2011
Hey everyone,
It’s chakra week here at FinerMinds and we’re kicking it off with something red – your ‘root’ chakra. For the next 7 weekdays, we’ll be giving you a chakra meditation a day for more clarity and balance.
And as any good yogini knows, it all starts at the root.
In the ancient language of Sanskrit, the root chakra is called Muladhara. If your Root Chakra is WEAK, BLOCKED or CLOSED, it can manifest like this: You’re stuck in an unfulfilling and unrewarding career; you never seem to have enough money; you’re in debt; spending money is stressful; or you have trouble budgeting effectively. Physically, you may suffer from weight or body issues, leaving you with a sense of unworthiness, or feeling uncomfortable in your own skin.
If any of these things feel a little too close to home, AND you’re ready to really live your full life potential, have a look at this root chakra balancing meditation.
Beautiful huh? What do you think about using a chakra meditation like this for balancing and healing? Do you think meditation and energy clearing are useful tools for overall awesomeness? Leave a comment and let us know.
Hey everyone,
It’s chakra week here at FinerMinds and we’re kicking it off with something red – your ‘root’ chakra. For the next 7 weekdays, we’ll be giving you a chakra meditation a day for more clarity and balance.
And as any good yogini knows, it all starts at the root.
In the ancient language of Sanskrit, the root chakra is called Muladhara. If your Root Chakra is WEAK, BLOCKED or CLOSED, it can manifest like this: You’re stuck in an unfulfilling and unrewarding career; you never seem to have enough money; you’re in debt; spending money is stressful; or you have trouble budgeting effectively. Physically, you may suffer from weight or body issues, leaving you with a sense of unworthiness, or feeling uncomfortable in your own skin.
If any of these things feel a little too close to home, AND you’re ready to really live your full life potential, have a look at this root chakra balancing meditation.
Beautiful huh? What do you think about using a chakra meditation like this for balancing and healing? Do you think meditation and energy clearing are useful tools for overall awesomeness? Leave a comment and let us know.
Smile and the World Smiles with You
From Finer Minds:
"Smile at the world and the world will smile back at you."
Step 1. From the moment you awake to the moment your head hits the pillow, constantly imagine that you're smiling from the inside at your outer reality.
Step 2. Imagine you're smiling from deep within your mind and from within your heart. You are projecting that happiness and smile outward through your eyes and expression.
Don't be surprised if people comment on the sparkle in your eyes or when your mouth automatically curls upwards :-)
Step 3. Imagine that your heart is filled with the pure joy of being alive. And for this it continues to smile.
Now continue doing this for at least a week every day. You'll begin to notice monumental changes. Not just in how you interact with the outside world but also in how the world acts and projects reality towards you.
People will notice your presence and be able to sense your Inner Love and Smile without understanding why.
"Smile at the world and the world will smile back at you."
Step 1. From the moment you awake to the moment your head hits the pillow, constantly imagine that you're smiling from the inside at your outer reality.
Step 2. Imagine you're smiling from deep within your mind and from within your heart. You are projecting that happiness and smile outward through your eyes and expression.
Don't be surprised if people comment on the sparkle in your eyes or when your mouth automatically curls upwards :-)
Step 3. Imagine that your heart is filled with the pure joy of being alive. And for this it continues to smile.
Now continue doing this for at least a week every day. You'll begin to notice monumental changes. Not just in how you interact with the outside world but also in how the world acts and projects reality towards you.
People will notice your presence and be able to sense your Inner Love and Smile without understanding why.
Wednesday, February 6, 2019
Do You Use Focus?
Focus...Do You Use It? Do you find it difficult to hold a focus for long?
Perhaps you've heard it said that if you can hold a single thought for 17 seconds it becomes a material reality...can you do that? Have you tried? Many people are doing well if they can focus on a thought for even 4 seconds!
How can you improve your focus-ability? Practice. Practice doing what? Meditation. Yes, meditation holds the power to increase your ability to concentrate, focus. Modern scientific research proves that regular meditation actually changes the brain! "Focused attention begins to build new neuronal circuits that, once established, will automatically activate those parts of the brain that involve motivational activity. And the more that activity is repeated, the stronger those neural circuits become." ("How God Changes Your Brain" by Waldman and ) Literally, with practice, the structure of the brain's cells alters.
How do you motivate yourself to meditate? Desire. Desire for a better quality of life, a problem solved, a new opportunity etc.
By now Silva Method Graduates are already recognizing the pattern: Jose Silva knew and taught that Faith is necessary to achive goals. Faith is comprised of three parts: Desire, Belief and Expectancy.
Desire - the conscious choice - comes first...after all, if you had no desire for something different you wouldn't even be thinking about doing something, having something or experiencing something other than what you already have! Desire is almost always considered the 'driver', the power behind change. It's the potent force which brings about whatever you're goal may be.
Belief is next. If you believe change can happen, it can. With enough desire and focus, it does!
Some people have layers of beliefs. By that I mean that on the surface, the conscious level, their belief is that they can have it (whatever 'it' may be). They deserve to have 'it'. They then expect to have it because they deeply desire it. Yet, too often, 'it' never arrives.
Expectation "reflects our neurological propensity to believe that we can, and will, accomplish our goals. It's "different from hope because it give you the inner conviction that your goal is attainable,even if it seems irrational."
---------------
Herbert Benson "relaxation response" Harvard, early 1970s,
Progressive relaxation, Zen and yoga, relaxation phase of hypnosis and TM all show decreased oxygen consumption, slower respiratory rate, decreased heart rate and (other than hypnosis) decreased blood pressure.
"...meditating on any form of love...appears to strengthen the same neurological circuits that allow us to feel compassion toward others."
Perhaps you've heard it said that if you can hold a single thought for 17 seconds it becomes a material reality...can you do that? Have you tried? Many people are doing well if they can focus on a thought for even 4 seconds!
How can you improve your focus-ability? Practice. Practice doing what? Meditation. Yes, meditation holds the power to increase your ability to concentrate, focus. Modern scientific research proves that regular meditation actually changes the brain! "Focused attention begins to build new neuronal circuits that, once established, will automatically activate those parts of the brain that involve motivational activity. And the more that activity is repeated, the stronger those neural circuits become." ("How God Changes Your Brain" by Waldman and ) Literally, with practice, the structure of the brain's cells alters.
How do you motivate yourself to meditate? Desire. Desire for a better quality of life, a problem solved, a new opportunity etc.
By now Silva Method Graduates are already recognizing the pattern: Jose Silva knew and taught that Faith is necessary to achive goals. Faith is comprised of three parts: Desire, Belief and Expectancy.
Desire - the conscious choice - comes first...after all, if you had no desire for something different you wouldn't even be thinking about doing something, having something or experiencing something other than what you already have! Desire is almost always considered the 'driver', the power behind change. It's the potent force which brings about whatever you're goal may be.
Belief is next. If you believe change can happen, it can. With enough desire and focus, it does!
Some people have layers of beliefs. By that I mean that on the surface, the conscious level, their belief is that they can have it (whatever 'it' may be). They deserve to have 'it'. They then expect to have it because they deeply desire it. Yet, too often, 'it' never arrives.
Expectation "reflects our neurological propensity to believe that we can, and will, accomplish our goals. It's "different from hope because it give you the inner conviction that your goal is attainable,even if it seems irrational."
---------------
Herbert Benson "relaxation response" Harvard, early 1970s,
Progressive relaxation, Zen and yoga, relaxation phase of hypnosis and TM all show decreased oxygen consumption, slower respiratory rate, decreased heart rate and (other than hypnosis) decreased blood pressure.
"...meditating on any form of love...appears to strengthen the same neurological circuits that allow us to feel compassion toward others."
Grok It – How To Heal Your Money Model In 3 Steps The Abundance Action Plan)
by Dawn DelVecchio December 16, 2010 FinerMinds
To grok something, according to Wikipedia, at least, is the ability to "both comprehend something intellectually and apprehend (relate emotionally and spiritually) to its essence."
The word grok comes from sci-fi writer Robert A. Heinlein in his book, "Stranger in a Strange Land", and for most of us today, to grok something means simply, to get it.
Over the last 10 years or so, a whole new consciousness about money has emerged. Marry that with the power of the web to reach, well, billions, and you've got possibilities for financial abundance previous generations couldn't even dream of.
But a lot of us are still eeking by, wondering why some folks are singing the songs of wild success while we're still living hand-to-mouth. We're doing all the right things – from affirmations to meditations to taking action steps – but it's like something just wont give.
What's going on?
What's going on for a lot of peeps who seem to have all the right ‘tools' in their money toolbox, is that they haven't grokked the vibe of wealth. I'm not talking about "intellectual comprehension". I'm talking about unconscious habits of interaction that keep us stuck in the ‘ain't got no money' blues.
Some of the greatest teachers of success and wealth mindset today have given us awesome guidance. Like many of us, they came from humble backgrounds with less than ideal money models. And they often share these stories freely, inspiring us to reach for our greatness financially and in all ways.
But what's the difference between the Jack Canfields, Lisa Nichols, John Assarafs and Tony Robbins of the world and the rest of us? Well, they grokked it.
We all know by now that the Law of Attraction requires us to change our focus if we want to change our experience, whether that's about money, love, health or an annoying neighbor. The question is, are we really doing it?
So let's say you've got a money model based on scarcity. You know you've got it and you know, thanks to the Law of Attraction, that the myths surrounding who can have financial abundance and who can't are all BS. So you're visualizing more money, you're thinking positively, you're scribbling lists of appreciation, and maybe you're even taking action like going to a wealth mindset seminar or starting an online biz.
Yet the weeks and months go by and it seems like the improvements are either slow in coming, non-existent, or off-set by unexpected expenses that leave you in the same !*&!! place.
I believe there are two things missing …
The Echo
Bashar, a channeled guidance whose been helping folks change their lives for the past couple of decades, says that when we start to change a habit, life will offer us an ‘echo' of the old thing. It's a kind of test to see if we've really shifted our energy and attitude about the old habit or belief. This is one of the places where a lot of us get stuck.
You're doing all the right things, almost. But what happens inside of you when it's time to pay the bills, when the pay check comes or when the success you're just itching for is not quite happening? What does it feel like in that wordless place of your being every time you have to actually deal with money? If you're feeling (and therefore vibrating) things like anger, fear, impatience or frustration, then what could have been an echo is now an even deeper groove in your broken, money model record.
The more often you repeat the old, unconscious emotions, the deeper the groove. In other words, you're silently and unconsciously undermining all the good stuff you're doing because your emotional charge about it hasn't actually changed.
Act as If
Abraham, the channeled guidance offered by Esther Hicks, says most of us don't experience major changes in our lives because we're stuck in "what-is-itis". We focus on what's in front of us and if we don't like it, we complain about it, even if silently.
Now the question that's been baffling me is: how do we Act as If we're wealthy if we have no idea what that's like? If we've got deep grooves of stress and worry and scarcity in our life blueprint, how on earth can we fake it? Abe offers lots of tools to help us Act as If, too many to get into here, but the essence of all of them is this: look for abundance wherever you can find it and let your mind dwell there.
Your Turn!
So let's wrap this all up in a nice, AAP (Abundance Action Plan). There are three specific steps I want you to take during the holiday season and right through into the New Year. Yep, I want you to commit to these three steps for a minimum of 1 month and ideally, 40 or more days. You've got to do the internal ‘work' to change your external experience. In short – it's up to you. Are you ready? Here we go …
1. Deep Awareness
Become deeply aware of your thoughts and feelings around money, especially when you are doing the things (like paying bills or balancing your check book) that trigger old vibes of scarcity, fear or anger. Notice them, observe them like an objective scientist.
This isn't the same thing as getting wound up over them. I just want you to look, sense, and become really aware of what things trigger which feelings. When you step back like this and just observe, all of a sudden, you're not so charged by the emotions anymore. You get a little perspective or ‘space' from the actual feelings, and it's in that space that you open a door inside yourself for change.
2. Ask the Right Questions
Asking things like "Why can't I succeed?" or "When am I ever going to get ahead?" will not – let me repeat this – will NOT help. Once you've got a pretty good bead on your emotional habits around money, and when those emotions are triggered, you've got to ask constructive questions. Questions like: "How can I rearrange the way I'm prioritizing my expenses to leverage my current income better?" or "Who can I speak with that's got a great money model about how they organize their finances?" or "How many different ways can I look at this so that it feels different inside me?"
3. Fake It
Where in your life is there abundance already? Maybe you've got plenty of hot water to shower with on cold mornings. Maybe you can enjoy a big mug of coffee every morning. Maybe your kids are healthy and full of energy or your own body is vital and strong. Maybe your car works great or you don't even need a car because the mass transit system in your city goes just about everywhere. Maybe you live close to nature and there are plenty of trees and lots of fresh air. Maybe you've simply got all your fingers and toes.
Whatever and wherever you can find abundance, focus on it, appreciate it, dwell on it, be thankful for it – then do this every single day. You may not be living in a mansion yet, but you might have enough blankets to keep you cozy on a cold night, so see, see, see the abundance you do have, and bask in it every time you catch yourself drifting into thoughts and feelings of scarcity.
To grok something, according to Wikipedia, at least, is the ability to "both comprehend something intellectually and apprehend (relate emotionally and spiritually) to its essence."
The word grok comes from sci-fi writer Robert A. Heinlein in his book, "Stranger in a Strange Land", and for most of us today, to grok something means simply, to get it.
Over the last 10 years or so, a whole new consciousness about money has emerged. Marry that with the power of the web to reach, well, billions, and you've got possibilities for financial abundance previous generations couldn't even dream of.
But a lot of us are still eeking by, wondering why some folks are singing the songs of wild success while we're still living hand-to-mouth. We're doing all the right things – from affirmations to meditations to taking action steps – but it's like something just wont give.
What's going on?
What's going on for a lot of peeps who seem to have all the right ‘tools' in their money toolbox, is that they haven't grokked the vibe of wealth. I'm not talking about "intellectual comprehension". I'm talking about unconscious habits of interaction that keep us stuck in the ‘ain't got no money' blues.
Some of the greatest teachers of success and wealth mindset today have given us awesome guidance. Like many of us, they came from humble backgrounds with less than ideal money models. And they often share these stories freely, inspiring us to reach for our greatness financially and in all ways.
But what's the difference between the Jack Canfields, Lisa Nichols, John Assarafs and Tony Robbins of the world and the rest of us? Well, they grokked it.
We all know by now that the Law of Attraction requires us to change our focus if we want to change our experience, whether that's about money, love, health or an annoying neighbor. The question is, are we really doing it?
So let's say you've got a money model based on scarcity. You know you've got it and you know, thanks to the Law of Attraction, that the myths surrounding who can have financial abundance and who can't are all BS. So you're visualizing more money, you're thinking positively, you're scribbling lists of appreciation, and maybe you're even taking action like going to a wealth mindset seminar or starting an online biz.
Yet the weeks and months go by and it seems like the improvements are either slow in coming, non-existent, or off-set by unexpected expenses that leave you in the same !*&!! place.
I believe there are two things missing …
The Echo
Bashar, a channeled guidance whose been helping folks change their lives for the past couple of decades, says that when we start to change a habit, life will offer us an ‘echo' of the old thing. It's a kind of test to see if we've really shifted our energy and attitude about the old habit or belief. This is one of the places where a lot of us get stuck.
You're doing all the right things, almost. But what happens inside of you when it's time to pay the bills, when the pay check comes or when the success you're just itching for is not quite happening? What does it feel like in that wordless place of your being every time you have to actually deal with money? If you're feeling (and therefore vibrating) things like anger, fear, impatience or frustration, then what could have been an echo is now an even deeper groove in your broken, money model record.
The more often you repeat the old, unconscious emotions, the deeper the groove. In other words, you're silently and unconsciously undermining all the good stuff you're doing because your emotional charge about it hasn't actually changed.
Act as If
Abraham, the channeled guidance offered by Esther Hicks, says most of us don't experience major changes in our lives because we're stuck in "what-is-itis". We focus on what's in front of us and if we don't like it, we complain about it, even if silently.
Now the question that's been baffling me is: how do we Act as If we're wealthy if we have no idea what that's like? If we've got deep grooves of stress and worry and scarcity in our life blueprint, how on earth can we fake it? Abe offers lots of tools to help us Act as If, too many to get into here, but the essence of all of them is this: look for abundance wherever you can find it and let your mind dwell there.
Your Turn!
So let's wrap this all up in a nice, AAP (Abundance Action Plan). There are three specific steps I want you to take during the holiday season and right through into the New Year. Yep, I want you to commit to these three steps for a minimum of 1 month and ideally, 40 or more days. You've got to do the internal ‘work' to change your external experience. In short – it's up to you. Are you ready? Here we go …
1. Deep Awareness
Become deeply aware of your thoughts and feelings around money, especially when you are doing the things (like paying bills or balancing your check book) that trigger old vibes of scarcity, fear or anger. Notice them, observe them like an objective scientist.
This isn't the same thing as getting wound up over them. I just want you to look, sense, and become really aware of what things trigger which feelings. When you step back like this and just observe, all of a sudden, you're not so charged by the emotions anymore. You get a little perspective or ‘space' from the actual feelings, and it's in that space that you open a door inside yourself for change.
2. Ask the Right Questions
Asking things like "Why can't I succeed?" or "When am I ever going to get ahead?" will not – let me repeat this – will NOT help. Once you've got a pretty good bead on your emotional habits around money, and when those emotions are triggered, you've got to ask constructive questions. Questions like: "How can I rearrange the way I'm prioritizing my expenses to leverage my current income better?" or "Who can I speak with that's got a great money model about how they organize their finances?" or "How many different ways can I look at this so that it feels different inside me?"
3. Fake It
Where in your life is there abundance already? Maybe you've got plenty of hot water to shower with on cold mornings. Maybe you can enjoy a big mug of coffee every morning. Maybe your kids are healthy and full of energy or your own body is vital and strong. Maybe your car works great or you don't even need a car because the mass transit system in your city goes just about everywhere. Maybe you live close to nature and there are plenty of trees and lots of fresh air. Maybe you've simply got all your fingers and toes.
Whatever and wherever you can find abundance, focus on it, appreciate it, dwell on it, be thankful for it – then do this every single day. You may not be living in a mansion yet, but you might have enough blankets to keep you cozy on a cold night, so see, see, see the abundance you do have, and bask in it every time you catch yourself drifting into thoughts and feelings of scarcity.
Afformations – A New Approach to Positive Thinking
Positive Affirmations Don’t Work For You?
Try Afformations — The New Approach to Positive Thinking
by FinerMinds Team June 18, 2010
Positive affirmations are positive statements that you exclaim everyday to manifest in your daily life. Lot’s of people use it to start the day or to get what they want. But for some, these affirmations don’t do anything more than create unfulfilled desires.
If this sounds familiar and you find positive affirmations don’t really work for you, Noah St. John is about to share with you his 4-step process of Positive Afformation to turn this around and help you manifest your daily desires effectively (and no, we didn’t spell that wrong!) :)
Find out what positive afformation is, learn how to apply it to your life…and when you’re done with this exercise, let us know what your afformations are in the comment box below.
…
Afformations – A New Approach to Positive Thinking
by Noah St. John, Ph.D.
If you’ve ever read a self-help book, you know that traditional success teachers have told you to say “affirmations” – positive statements that you’d like to be true. For example, a classic “affirmation” is: “I am rich.”
Try it. Say “I am rich.”
What just happened? Did you hear a voice in your head that said: “Yeah, right!”?
There’s only one problem with “affirmations”: they really don’t work for most people. Why? Because you’re trying to convince yourself of something you don’t really believe.
Have you ever been persuaded to try “affirmations”… and then had absolutely nothing happen?
Me too. And about a gazillion other people.
Noah St. John is the #1 bestselling author of The Secret Code of Success: 7 Hidden Steps to More Wealth and Happiness (published by HarperCollins).
You may have seen Noah on CNN, ABC, NBC, and in The Washington Post. Appearing in over 2,500 media outlets, he’s the world’s most-quoted expert on how to take out your head trash.
Read the first 3 chapters of The Book of Afformations FREE at http://www.afformations.com/
One morning in April 1997, I was in the shower, thinking about how the human mind works. I realized that human thought IS the process of asking and searching for the answer to QUESTIONS. For example, if I asked you, “Why is the sky blue?”, your mind would start searching for the answer.
So I asked myself a logical question: “If the human mind is always asking and searching for answers to QUESTIONS, why are we going around saying statements we don’t even believe? Why don’t we cut out the middleman?
Take the “affirmation” “I am rich” – to which the brain replies “Yeah, right!” What would the QUESTION be?
“Why am I so rich?”
Try it. Ask yourself: “Why am I so rich?”
What’s your brain doing right now? Searching for an answer to the QUESTION!
The staggering realization I made that morning in April 1997 was that you create your reality in two ways: by the statements you say to yourself and others, and by the questions you ask yourself and others. Until then, no one had fully realized, or shown how to harness, the awesome power of what happens when you ASK EMPOWERING QUESTIONS.
And that’s why I named my discovery The Afformations Method.
The 4 Steps to Creating Afformations That Change Your Life
Tuesday, February 5, 2019
How to Increase Your Willpower
from the FinerMinds blog
Yesterday we took a little peak at comfort zones and their total unsex-appeal. But what is it that will really get us moving in new directions, thinking new thoughts, trying new things – especially when we’re over-worked, stressed out or just plain pooped?
Judith Beck says it’s will power and that we’ve all got it. She’s got 11 great tips to cattle prod you off the couch and into action! (Hint: the last one may be the most important of all.) (This Huffington Post article is reprinted here in full for your convenience.)
Want to Increase Your Willpower? Here’s How
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D.
I have an unscientific definition of willpower: It’s getting yourself to do something that you don’t want to do.
Everyone has willpower. People who are healthy (physically and psychologically) have 100 percent willpower in some areas. For example, you may brush your teeth, get dressed, and leave for work on time every day, whether you feel like it or not.
But most people have at least one area in which they have much less willpower. You may, for example, have difficulty getting yourself to consistently eat in a healthy way, exercise, hold your temper, keep your spending in check, or pay your bills in a timely fashion — even though you’d like to be able to get yourself to do these things and you recognize the consequences of not doing them.
What gets in the way of exerting willpower in an area that’s important to you?
A major contributor is your thinking. For example, as you’re walking through a big box store, you see a large, Blu-Ray-ready, high-definition television. You think, “I really want that. It would be so great to watch TV on that instead of what I have now.” Your inclination is to pull out your credit card and buy it. The next set of thoughts that pops into your head will determine what you do. If you think, “I can’t afford it. It will just drive me deeper into credit card debt. I’ll have to wait,” you will feel disappointed, but you’ll end up walking away. On the other hand, if you think, “I know I shouldn’t get it but I have to have it,” you’ll end up buying a TV that you can’t afford.
How can you increase your willpower? Here are some techniques, using exercise as an example, that should help:
Specify your goal in behavioral terms.
Not, “I want to be more physically fit,” but, “I want to go to the gym three times a week for 45 minutes.”
Make sure your goal is reasonable.
If you have been sedentary, you may need to start off with a more modest exercise goal and increase your efforts as you go along.
Reflect on all the reasons you have to reach your goal.
Think of as many reasons as you can and keep adding to the list:
I’ll be healthier.
My back won’t hurt.
My body will be more toned.
I’ll look better.
I’ll be stronger.
I’ll be able to carry bags of groceries more easily.
My body won’t hurt after a long car ride.
I won’t have so many aches and pains when I get up every morning.
I’ll be proud of myself.
I’ll be more attractive to others.
It will reduce my stress.
Read this list every morning, even if you think you don’t need to.
You never know when your willpower will slip. Prepare yourself every day. And the more you read through your list, the clearer it will be to you why you should push yourself to engage in a behavior that perhaps at the moment, you’d rather not do.
Reflect on the consequences of not reaching your goal.
“If I don’t get myself to the gym, I won’t be healthier; my back will hurt; my body won’t be toned, I won’t look better, I won’t be stronger, ” and so on.
Prioritize.
If you already have an overly busy schedule, how will you find the time to get to the gym? You will need to say, “Going to the gym is a top priority. Which activities and tasks will I need to postpone, delegate, do less of, or do less well?” Then enter “going to the gym” in your schedule and make it sacrosanct.
Solve problems that interfere with goal attainment.
To get to the gym three times a week, you may need to negotiate with others, be more flexible with your timing, or ask for a ride. Beware of all-or-nothing thinking like, “If I skip one day at the gym, I might as well skip the whole week,” or, “If I can’t do 45 minutes, it’s not worth going at all.”
Beware of excuses.
“It’s okay to skip the gym today because I’m tired/I’m upset/it won’t really matter/I don’t feel like it/I’ll go tomorrow instead/I deserve a break.”
Say “no choice.”
You probably don’t give yourself a choice about wearing a seat-belt. Whether you feel like wearing it or not isn’t relevant to you. You do it anyway. You don’t struggle over the behavior because you have already decided you just have to do it. Put going to the gym in your “no choice” category.
Recognize that every time matters.
It’s not that each time is crucial for building muscles. It’s that each time is crucial for building the habit of going to the gym. Every time you’re tempted to skip going, and you do skip, you’re reinforcing your habit of giving in, which makes it more likely that in the future you’ll also give in. But every time you’re tempted to skip going and you make yourself go, you reinforce your habit of doing what you need to do to reach your goal, which makes it more likely that you’ll keep up the habit in the future. So every time matters. Don’t fool yourself into thinking it doesn’t.
Give yourself credit.
It’s important to positively reinforce yourself every time you take steps toward your goal. Saying, “It’s good that I’m doing this,” can help you build your sense of self-efficacy and your sense that you can make yourself do things you don’t want to do, which will help during the moments in which your willpower wavers. Don’t wait until you reach your ultimate goal to praise yourself. It’s very important to do so all along the way.
One big payoff for working toward a goal isn’t always obvious from the start. When you make yourself do things you don’t feel like doing, you will likely feel more in control, which may also lead to other positive spin-offs in your life. “I can make myself go to the gym — maybe that means I can also make myself …” Building willpower, accomplishing goals, and feeling in control can be powerful rewards in their own right.
Yesterday we took a little peak at comfort zones and their total unsex-appeal. But what is it that will really get us moving in new directions, thinking new thoughts, trying new things – especially when we’re over-worked, stressed out or just plain pooped?
Judith Beck says it’s will power and that we’ve all got it. She’s got 11 great tips to cattle prod you off the couch and into action! (Hint: the last one may be the most important of all.) (This Huffington Post article is reprinted here in full for your convenience.)
Want to Increase Your Willpower? Here’s How
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D.
I have an unscientific definition of willpower: It’s getting yourself to do something that you don’t want to do.
Everyone has willpower. People who are healthy (physically and psychologically) have 100 percent willpower in some areas. For example, you may brush your teeth, get dressed, and leave for work on time every day, whether you feel like it or not.
But most people have at least one area in which they have much less willpower. You may, for example, have difficulty getting yourself to consistently eat in a healthy way, exercise, hold your temper, keep your spending in check, or pay your bills in a timely fashion — even though you’d like to be able to get yourself to do these things and you recognize the consequences of not doing them.
What gets in the way of exerting willpower in an area that’s important to you?
A major contributor is your thinking. For example, as you’re walking through a big box store, you see a large, Blu-Ray-ready, high-definition television. You think, “I really want that. It would be so great to watch TV on that instead of what I have now.” Your inclination is to pull out your credit card and buy it. The next set of thoughts that pops into your head will determine what you do. If you think, “I can’t afford it. It will just drive me deeper into credit card debt. I’ll have to wait,” you will feel disappointed, but you’ll end up walking away. On the other hand, if you think, “I know I shouldn’t get it but I have to have it,” you’ll end up buying a TV that you can’t afford.
How can you increase your willpower? Here are some techniques, using exercise as an example, that should help:
Specify your goal in behavioral terms.
Not, “I want to be more physically fit,” but, “I want to go to the gym three times a week for 45 minutes.”
Make sure your goal is reasonable.
If you have been sedentary, you may need to start off with a more modest exercise goal and increase your efforts as you go along.
Reflect on all the reasons you have to reach your goal.
Think of as many reasons as you can and keep adding to the list:
I’ll be healthier.
My back won’t hurt.
My body will be more toned.
I’ll look better.
I’ll be stronger.
I’ll be able to carry bags of groceries more easily.
My body won’t hurt after a long car ride.
I won’t have so many aches and pains when I get up every morning.
I’ll be proud of myself.
I’ll be more attractive to others.
It will reduce my stress.
Read this list every morning, even if you think you don’t need to.
You never know when your willpower will slip. Prepare yourself every day. And the more you read through your list, the clearer it will be to you why you should push yourself to engage in a behavior that perhaps at the moment, you’d rather not do.
Reflect on the consequences of not reaching your goal.
“If I don’t get myself to the gym, I won’t be healthier; my back will hurt; my body won’t be toned, I won’t look better, I won’t be stronger, ” and so on.
Prioritize.
If you already have an overly busy schedule, how will you find the time to get to the gym? You will need to say, “Going to the gym is a top priority. Which activities and tasks will I need to postpone, delegate, do less of, or do less well?” Then enter “going to the gym” in your schedule and make it sacrosanct.
Solve problems that interfere with goal attainment.
To get to the gym three times a week, you may need to negotiate with others, be more flexible with your timing, or ask for a ride. Beware of all-or-nothing thinking like, “If I skip one day at the gym, I might as well skip the whole week,” or, “If I can’t do 45 minutes, it’s not worth going at all.”
Beware of excuses.
“It’s okay to skip the gym today because I’m tired/I’m upset/it won’t really matter/I don’t feel like it/I’ll go tomorrow instead/I deserve a break.”
Say “no choice.”
You probably don’t give yourself a choice about wearing a seat-belt. Whether you feel like wearing it or not isn’t relevant to you. You do it anyway. You don’t struggle over the behavior because you have already decided you just have to do it. Put going to the gym in your “no choice” category.
Recognize that every time matters.
It’s not that each time is crucial for building muscles. It’s that each time is crucial for building the habit of going to the gym. Every time you’re tempted to skip going, and you do skip, you’re reinforcing your habit of giving in, which makes it more likely that in the future you’ll also give in. But every time you’re tempted to skip going and you make yourself go, you reinforce your habit of doing what you need to do to reach your goal, which makes it more likely that you’ll keep up the habit in the future. So every time matters. Don’t fool yourself into thinking it doesn’t.
Give yourself credit.
It’s important to positively reinforce yourself every time you take steps toward your goal. Saying, “It’s good that I’m doing this,” can help you build your sense of self-efficacy and your sense that you can make yourself do things you don’t want to do, which will help during the moments in which your willpower wavers. Don’t wait until you reach your ultimate goal to praise yourself. It’s very important to do so all along the way.
One big payoff for working toward a goal isn’t always obvious from the start. When you make yourself do things you don’t feel like doing, you will likely feel more in control, which may also lead to other positive spin-offs in your life. “I can make myself go to the gym — maybe that means I can also make myself …” Building willpower, accomplishing goals, and feeling in control can be powerful rewards in their own right.
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